The Greatest Commandments
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. Mark 12:30-31.
There was a time I had a flash of illumination as I pondered on those words Christ made, Love your neighbour as yourself. I got a new meaning of those simple words. By the way, this is one of the most frequently quoted scripture verses in the Bible and one of the most misinterpreted.
When people speak of loving your neighbour as yourself, they mean to love your neighbour as you love yourself. This means the degree to which a person has self-love is the degree to which they can love a neighbour. Whoever hates his or herself, due to life circumstances, will give hate his or her neighbour. This makes the quote “you cannot give what you don’t have” sensible.
The popular understanding of these words of Christ is to love your neighbour with the things that you have. If you have food and a neighbour asks for food, give them some, even if you do not really like the person. If a neighbour asks for anything in your possession to give, do it to the neighbour. The underlying basis for this love and kindness to a neighbour is the fact that (1.) It is a commandment, and, (2.) It shows that if we can love a God who we cannot see, how much more is expected of us to love a neighbour we see. “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen”, 1 John 4:20.
If this statement was not a commandment, made by Christ, a lot of people, especially Christians, will not love their neighbours as themselves because some neighbours are “unlovable”. When someone is unlovable, they do not have attractive qualities or they have repulsive behaviours, so people tend to stay away from them. A person can become unlovable because they offended another person and forgiveness has not taken its course between them.
Christ meant something deeper when He said “Love your neighbour as yourself“. The accurate interpretation of this saying is more than loving our neighbour as you love yourself, but loving them because your neighbour is you. It is to love your neighbour as a mirror reflection of you.
When Paul was speaking of God to the Stoic Philosophers at Athens, he spoke of God as having made “of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth“, Acts 17:26. One Blood is the same as saying one life, the same life, the same essence. Therefore, one is not essentially different from the other irrespective of the background, appearances, and circumstances that make them appear different. You and your neighbour are one and the same, living in two different bodies. It is like having water from the same source in two different vessels.
To love your neighbour as yourself is to love your neighbour because that other person is actually you.
This idea transcends the common notion of loving your neighbour by only being able to give them what you have. It means that you don’t have to have things to yourself to give your neighbour but to see the person as not different from you. Since you cannot stab your own reflection, why should you wish that to another you in the body of your neighbour?
If Christ was telling you that statement personally, He would say them like this:
You, Love Kunle as You.
You, Love Blessing as You.
You, Love Nelly as You.
You, Love Nna as You.
Because, in essence, one and the same Soul, the same Life, course through all of us! The thin line of separation between you and everyone is broken when this kind of love is practised. Race, culture, religion, and nationalities have created a sense in us of being essentially different from one another. Religion has not helped in instilling the idea that everyone is the same, despite religion’s hypocritical statement that everyone is serving the same God. It takes seeing your neighbour from the inside to see that the same life your neighbour carries inside them is the same inside you. Imagine one big soul split into several bodies around the world. One of the bodies is you!
To love your neighbour showed mercy to someone with no regard for background, religion, or potential benefits. It is to love them because they are you! This is not a popular idea within Christianity where Christ’s words are mostly used as a guide. The reason is the idea has not sunk in well enough in the minds of Christians. Some adherents of other religions put to practice these words more than Christians despite not knowing where in the Bible they are found.
Your neighbour is not only those you share the apartment building with. Neighbours are those you share the Earth with: friends, strangers on the streets, and people from other backgrounds, religions, tribes, and races.
Christ called this the greatest commandment, greater than the 10 Commandments and all other commandments. Without them, humans will break other laws and commands because of irreverence towards God and lovelessness towards people.
there are three ways that loving your neighbour as yourself could be practised. There are (1) by observation, (2) by responsiveness, and (3) through sacrifice.
The truth is many things we expect that others take note of us and the challenges of our lives. We want them to be sympathetic with us so that they can respond to us in the way we expect that such a challenge can be taken out of the way or at least lessened. We want others to make a sacrifice for us out of their schedules, their own challenges, and out of what they have which sometimes might not be enough for them. Imagine if you were the one being expected to observe, respond, and sacrifice for someone else.
You Love Your Neighbour by Observation
To be a good neighbour and love them as yourself is to notice them where they are at that time of their lives. The Samaritan first saw the hurting man. In the story of the Good Samaritan, we read that there were others who passed and looked at the wounded person on the ground, but it was the samaritan who saw the condition that the person was in.
“But a Samaritan, as he travelled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine,” Luke 10:33.
Are you noticing the condition of those closest to you? Are you sympathetic towards them? Do their plights move your hearts and make you take a pause to think over it? Or, do you disregard that observation and let a Samaritan bend down to help? How about if that person is your twin? How about you are fully convinced that the life in you also courses in the other person?
You Love Your Neighbour by Responding
When the Samaritan saw the man, he stopped and responded immediately to help meet the man’s pressing needs. He covered the man’s wounds with the resources he had on hand at that time. Have you noticed someone in need where you stay or in your community? What about someone in church, mosque, or the temple where you give worship to God? How are you responding to their need? Did you ever will in your mind to do something, however little that thing is?
“Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people, brings happiness.” – Harold Kushner.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi.
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill.
You Love Your Neighbour Through Sacrifice
When the Samaritan tended the wounded man’s wounds, he gave from the resources he had. He definitely had use for them as he too was on a destination and those resources would serve a need. He also gave his time. Time is one of the most valuable resources we have and sometimes it is all that someone else needs. Loving his neighbour not only cost the Samaritan at least two days’ wages but also his time.
We all have resources so that we can be a blessing to others. There is something you can do for someone if you really want to display your love for them. They could be time, talents, surplus food or clothes, money, and wisdom from the experiences of your life.
What other resources do you have that you can use to bless others?
How Can You Love Those Who Hate You?
From a religious point of view, loving those who hate us can be seen as an act of compassion and forgiveness, and an expression of our faith in the commands or admonitions to love others. Here are passages from sacred books where different religions approach the concept of loving those who hate us:
- Christianity: In the Bible, Jesus teaches his followers to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them (Matthew 5:44). This is seen as a way of following Jesus’ example of selfless love, and trusting in God’s ultimate justice and mercy.
- Buddhism: In Buddhism, the practice of loving-kindness (metta) involves cultivating a sense of goodwill towards all beings, including those who may have harmed or wronged us. By developing compassion and forgiveness, we can free ourselves from the negative emotions that come with hatred or resentment.
- Hinduism: In Hinduism, the concept of ahimsa (non-violence) is central to the idea of loving those who hate us. By avoiding harm or aggression towards others, we can promote peace and harmony in the world, and create a more compassionate and loving society.
- Islam: In Islam, the Prophet Muhammad taught that forgiveness and mercy are central to the practice of faith. Muslims are encouraged to respond to hate with patience and kindness and to pray for guidance and understanding.
How do we approach the need to love those who hate us from a purely humanistic point of view? From a purely humanistic point of view, loving those who hate us is also seen as an act of empathy, understanding, and compassion. A few ways we can approach this are:
- Seek to Understand Their Perspective: When someone hates us, it can be difficult to understand why they feel that way. However, by taking the time to listen to their perspective and understand their experiences, we can gain a greater sense of empathy and compassion for their situation.
- Practice Forgiveness: Holding onto anger and resentment towards those who hate us can only lead to more pain and suffering. By practising forgiveness, we can let go of these negative emotions and move towards a more positive and peaceful state of mind.
- Show Kindness and Compassion: Even when someone hates us, we can still choose to show them kindness and compassion. This can involve simple acts of generosity or empathy, such as offering a listening ear or expressing genuine concern for their well-being.
- Set Healthy Boundaries: While it is important to show compassion and empathy towards those who hate us, it is also important to set healthy boundaries and protect ourselves from harm. This can involve setting clear limits on what behaviour we will and will not tolerate, and taking steps to distance ourselves from toxic or abusive relationships.
The idea of loving those who hate us is grounded in the belief that we are all interconnected and that by treating others with kindness, empathy, and compassion, we can create a more peaceful and harmonious world.
Remember, the idea is to love your neighbour AS YOURSELF.
