I realise that in my search to unite with God, Devils are those I find along the way.
Maybe the best way to say it is, “in my search to unite with God, I find myself relating with non-gods, beings behind the shadow of reality who are playing God and using every means to inform me that I am dealing with the very God I think I am searching for”.
I see the handwriting of my dealings with these beings, in my praying and meditative moments, and cannot help but come to the conclusion that I am dealing with interdimensional human beings who have access to some means of technology they employ in creating elements of a religious experience in the mind of a subject, projecting themselves as God. At other times, I realise through intuitive sightings that “the presence” playing God to me is demonic spirits or some otherworldly beings who relate with me as they like, their actions having the character of violence, outright deception, hypnosis, instruction-like suggestions, or outright mind control as the case may be.
These people/beings who project themselves onto me do not really care about me as they want me to think. They do not care about my desires, concerns, or the deepest needs of my soul which puts me in the first place to want to have a purely spiritual experience with God. All they care about is me playing according to the script, according to their expectations, and then they place other people as adversaries before me so that in my seeking spiritual help, I can come to them “in the Name of Jesus”. They create scenarios to cause fear, to belittle me, to flatter me, to knock me side-to-side, one moment ecstatic the other moment moody, one moment full of passion, the other moment lethargic.
This is not what I signed for but this is what I must admit to knowing. I have always known that “shadow powers” are behind reality and are heavy controllers of religion. But it comes as a shock to realise that they have also barricaded even the road of pure spirituality and you have to play games with them to experience a simulation of what real spirituality should look like.
I learn that this anomaly is not peculiar to me alone. I am only becoming more convinced of the nature of our world and the Powers That Be behind religion and social systems. Their reward system is based on how you act out the script they create for you, and their punishment, if their violent reactions at being “disobeyed or neglected” can be called punishment, is to attack your senses and make you feel like a deflating balloon or to make you feel defenceless and a victim to wolves in human clothing.
I notice that I am “open”, not “open-minded”, but open as a book. I see my thoughts viewed, my words listened to, my thoughts replayed back to me, my words announced to have been heard; at night, dreams are projected into my mind for one of many reasons.
My next movement is sometimes divined. I often perceive someone/something viewing places I would go to hours or days before I go there. I could perceive a subtle influence upon some of my relationships that alter their attitude towards me positively or negatively. I have never truly felt alone, being alone
This mind-viewing, mind-control, influence upon my life, I seem not to be able to help myself with. My prayers, as direct and clear as they are seem to fall on the ears of one of these beings who want to play God. The God I think I am praying for has never come through for me, not that I know.
Christ said in Matthew 7:7, “…ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you”.
My prayer is that The Door is opened to me to experience Truth and Liberation and that the Face of God that I seek, I find. All these I ask for to be given.
